Testing

Last night I was hanging out with a friend after the children were in bed, and we were talking about how to stay calm with our children when things just dont seem to be going well. Basically, we were both realizing that when we our spirits and emotions are chaotic, our children become chaotic. When we are uptight about something, it really does affect the children. Honestly, I was realizing that I have been doing a pretty good job at just staying "calm". You know...just taking life in stride. The whole concept of "Don't cry over spilled milk."
So of course, I was tested today on this very concept. It just seems like the children were way more on edge. Actually I was way more on edge which makes them way more on edge. They were wound up, getting into everything they were not allowed to be getting into, spilling anything that had liquid in it etc. And...I failed miserably. I felt like I was snapping every few minutes at one of them...or at all three of them at once. Then they cry because I got upset, then I feel bad because I made them upset...then we would "make up"...and the vicious cycle would happen again a few minutes later. You would think that I would get it and be patient with them.
So, this is what I realized through the process of my day...
1) I had MY agenda...you get in the way of MY agenda then GAME OVER! Seriously, I look back over my day and I did WAY too much...of what I wanted to do...and not near enough of what the children wanted to do. They were "in my way" most of the day. (That will make anyone on edge..adults or children...if they feel that coming off of you! Yuck!)
2) My children really did just need my attention...negative or positive. They were doing a lot of things "wrong" i.e. getting into things they are not allowed to...just to get my attention. Hello...wake up Lesley!
3) All the chaos is not worth it. Yes, I got a lot done, but was it worth it? Did I love my children today? Not the way that I would have wanted to. Did I welcome my husband home well? Definetly not! (Sorry babe!)
So...here is to life lessons...and the incredible grace of the Lord to learn and to love us in the crazy moments of life!