Rediscovering our love...

Some of you may know this, but Kevin and I have been in counseling for about 7 months now. It has been one of the best decisions we have ever made. Coming from such different backgrounds and wanting to be able to understand eachother has been such a mystery for so long. However, after a few counseling sessions and lots of time and hard work, we are growing in our love for eachother like never before. Someone asked me the other day what a couple of key things we have taken away from the sessions and this is what I told him... Kevin and I have learned a TON over the course of the last seven months through the counseling sessions we have been going to. Hard...yes, but awesome...definetly. One major thing I think we would both agree has been a key to our marriage is focusing on ourselves. Yes, me focusing on me and Kevin focusing on himself. Sounds kind of crazy, but in the middle of a fight we have to choose to take our eyes off the other person and figure out what is going on in our own heart in order to get to the bottom of why that "thing" is bothering us about the other person. It has dissolved so many disagreements between us in the last few months. When we have chosen to walk this out we typically find that either the thing that is bothering us is not really the issue. We typically find that it is something from the outside that we are allowing to put pressure on our marriage or it is something that bothered us about our parents that we are recognizing in our spouse "that we never thought they would ever be like that".The second big thing we have taken away from counseling (and this might sound selfish coming from me, so maybe you should talk to Kevin about this) is that Kevin focuses on me and not so much on the children. But if you think about it, this totally makes sense. As a husband focuses on his wife, she feels loved and at rest. Therefore, she is able to pour into her children in a real and at rest way and then the children feel loved and at rest. As Kevin brings love, peace and rest to me, our children feel it flowing down to them from me. Not that he doesn't take any time with our kids of course, but he has switched more of his focus on me, which totally enables me to be a better mother to our children.There is WAY more that we have taken away from counseling, but these are two of the MAJOR adjustments we have made in our house...and it has brought way more rest and peace. We are loving eachother and loving life. :)